Bachelor And Bachelorette Parties

Also known as the ‘Kitchen Tea’, because not so long ago a dignified tea-party was considered the only acceptable way to celebrate a woman’s upcoming nuptials. Likewise, about a century ago a groom’s father, or his Best Man, would arrange a black-tie dinner for the groom’s closest male family and friends, where gentlemanly behaviour and cigars were the  entertainment of the evening, which culminated in a dignified toast to the  bride-to-be’s health.

Today just about anything goes when celebrating one last blast of freedom. However it is wise not to overdo things during this delicate period of build-up to the actual wedding. When planning a bachelor or bachelorette party it is good to remember the adage: All things in moderation.

Traditionally the groom’s best man and the bride’s maid of honour or chief bride’s maid are responsible for organizing this event. They are responsible for choosing the venue, deciding on a theme (if applicable), and inviting the guests. In some cases they may advise on gift ideas, and they decide on the form the party will take, and the activities, jokes and entertainment of the event.

For a successful bachelor or bachelorette party, certain pointers need to be considered:

• Do not hold the party the day before the wedding! At best it could result in a hung-over bride or bride-groom.  At worst, an AWOL groom! It is considered best to hold the party about a month before the wedding.

• Ensure that the organizer of the party is someone who has both the time and the enthusiasm to plan a successful bash. If this is an issue, then the appointed maid of honour, or best man, may need to accept help from others who DO have time, energy, and ideas.

• The costs are not to be overloaded onto the party organizer. Everyone pitches in and the costs of the bachelor or bachelorette party should be carried by the guests.

• The guest list includes the bride or groom’s close friends and family. The bachelorette party may need to include the groom’s mother, sisters, and perhaps even aunts; while the bachelor party includes the bride’s father, brothers, and perhaps uncles. These days a bachelor or bachelorette party may include both genders.

• If there is alcohol involved, the party organizer should make sure there are designated drivers, a driving service, or adequate taxi service to ensure the safety of all guests.

• Remember to consider the personality and expectations of the bride or groom when organizing the party. For e.g. do not get a stripper if either the bride or groom would be embarrassed by it, or if the bride-to-be would be chagrined to learn there was a stripper at her husband-to-be’s bachelor party (and vice versa!). Having a bachelor party at a strip-club is only a good idea if both bride-to-be and groom are absolutely OK with it! It is acceptable (and sometimes, expected) to organize something that is somewhat ‘racy’ and that will mildly tease the bride or groom, but the plan is not to let it get out of hand.

Bachelor and bachelorette parties need not be about consuming copious amounts of alcohol with resultant hilarious behaviour. There are many other ways to say a fond farewell to the ‘single’ life. Decide whether it will be a traditional party, or something exciting and different.

• A cross-dressing party for the bride is fun. All the guests arrive dressed as men, replete with cans of beer (perhaps a ‘beer-belly’ or two?); perhaps cigars all round, with much belching and scratching.

• A James Bond evening at a Casino, taking in a show and a little gambling. Guests get a chance to dress to the nines and enjoy a throwback to a more elegant era.

• Bringing in a tarot card reader, or astrologer, to read the guests fortunes, is becoming a popular trend.

• A movie night and sleepover for the girls can transport the bride-to-be and guests to a simpler time, and can be a fun bonding time for all in the wedding party. It is also a pretty safe environment for some good ‘drinking’ games!

• A good idea for a combined bachelor/bachelorette party may be booking the local Ten Pin Bowling ally for the event, or a paintball venue.

• The groom and his buddies may enjoy tickets to a game, or organize a big screen for a popular sporting event, rounded off with a barbecue.